I awoke, gave the children breakfast, drank my coffee, got Harper and Zane out the door and then enjoyed the quietness of a house all to myself. ALL TO MYSELF!
I colored my hair (I have no problem admitting this), got on the elliptical, took a shower, watched Oprah until the President interrupted the broadcast with his bumbling attempts at public speaking (but I listened), had some more coffee, filled a Mary Kay order, and am now, sitting down to write.
The morning was MINE!
This morning I awoke feeling VALIDATED. I do indeed have a maternal gut that I can trust. I do indeed know my child quite intimately. I am indeed an advocate for my precious daughter. My research was not in vain. My discovery that she has behaviors which communicate anxiety and adhd have been validated by Dr. Jha, who through this process of evaluation has been warm, friendly, informed, professional, caring, and complimentary . . . apparently, according to her, I am a good “historian” of Harper. Well, come on, the cord may be cut, but that invisible connection is still attached!
This morning I awoke with RECOMMENDATIONS for Harper. On Monday, we will be discussing medication, further therapy for the anxiety, and academic testing as we continue driving down this unfamiliar road, of which I’m having a bit of an easier time navigating.
This morning I awoke with a feeling of REJUVINATION. As a person who thinks in black and white (with, admittedly, a lot of emotion and drama sprinkled in), having a plan and direction gives me a feeling of freedom. Through this process, I have poured my efforts and energy into Harper and Zane. I have grown to crave time with them. At the same time, however, I have done so at the detriment of my personal health. Eating whatever is around, no exercise, paralyzing myself in front of the TV so that I don’t have to think. This morning, in contrast, I took care of myself. It felt nice.
Sure, once again, the weather report is calling for snow tonight.
But, through the snow, I see green sprouts of Spring in our home’s climate.
The sprouts are tiny. But they are PRESENT and they will GROW.
“So let us know. Let us press on to know the Lord. His going forth is as certain as the dawn. And He will come to us like the rain. Like the SPRING rain, watering the Earth.” (Hosea 6:3 NAS)
So let us press on to know the Lord.