This is going to take some time for me to work through in writing.
Lately, on two separate occasions, after communicating that I did NOT want to do something that I have committed to doing, I have been met with the statement, “Then don’t do it. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do.”
Are you still with me?
Both times, upon hearing this statement, I have responded with something to the effect of, “Well, simply not doing what I don’t want to do is not always wise.”
Do I WANT to clean the house, when I could be out with friends?
Do I WANT to sit with the kids while they do their homework, when I could be reading a book?
Do I WANT to help a friend, when it infringes on my schedule?
Do I WANT to answer the children, when I crave quiet?
Do I WANT to exercise, when it’s easier to just blow it off?
No. No, no, no. And, no.
I am quite intrigued by the philosophy of only doing what one wants to do – as if that is the litmus test by which one should make a decision. In the most recent exchange, I was sharing about not wanting to do something that a friend has asked me to do for her. Will I do it? Absolutely.
Because my relationship with this friend far outweighs the inconvenience of the task. (My husband calls this 4AM friendship.)
Another word for this would be: sacrifice.
I love my friend. I do NOT love the request. But, I will place the love I have for my friend before my own needs, for I value her more than my brief discomfort. Quite frankly, she would be hurt if I didn’t come through. I know her that well. So, while I don’t necessarily WANT to do what she has asked, I will get it done for her.
The relationship is more important.
Does that make sense?
The “only do what you want” philosophy is baffling to me.
If’ I lived that philosophy I would weigh 20-30 pounds heavier than I currently do. I would choose convenience over hard work. I would eat out and stuff my face with buffalo wings as often as I could stomach them. Instead, I choose the struggle of working out several times a week in order that I stay healthy and fit, and am meticulous with what food I bring into the house and feed my body. I don’t always WANT to do these things.
Only, my body, and my emotional/mental state, tell me I must.
No, nobody HAS to do anything . . . only there is a huge difference between what I may WANT and what I CHOOSE.
And sometimes I must CHOOSE to do what I don’t WANT to do.
Thoroughly confused yet?
I’ll let you discuss now.
Any thoughts here? Scripture? Life experiences? Let ‘er rip.